A shared practice
Twenty-Second Smile Hugs
S
Created bySean Fargo
Part 5 of Sean's partner-appreciation series — recorded in his own voice.
In Sean Fargo’s own voice6 min
Read along — the full script
Welcome back. We're now on day five of appreciation. I'm Sean Fargo. Did you know that the average hug lasts just three seconds? And did you know that there's such thing as an ideal hug of twenty seconds or more? Recent discoveries show that it takes at least twenty seconds of hugging until scientists can measure a rise in oxytocin in the brain.
Oxytocin is sometimes called the love drug, which helps to reduce blood pressure and stress and improve sleep patterns. Interestingly, high testosterone levels actually inhibit oxytocin, which may partially explain why many men are reluctant to share and show affection. But nonetheless, partners who hug for at least twenty seconds experience even higher levels of oxytocin when they smile during the hug.
So on that note, let's begin today's mindfulness practice by finding a posture that's both relaxed and alert. And we're going to make the intention to have a twenty-second smile hug. I know it may sound a little cheesy or weird or uncomfortable, but bear with me.
See if you can just imagine you and either your partner or a loved one hugging. Just a simple, friendly hug that's gentle, but warm. And feel what it's like to be smiling at the same time while you're hugging this person, this loved one.
And know that they're smiling as well. You can't see their face or their smile, but it's enough just to know that they're smiling. And feel the sensations of your hands on their back or their shoulders. Imagine the love and care for your loved one.
And imagine the love and care that they have for you. And just notice what this feels like to imagine yourself hugging this person, this loved one, with a smile. And feel a sense of full embodiment from your smiling face to your open heart to your rooted legs and feet.
Now, I know that's longer than twenty seconds, but I encourage you as you go throughout the rest of your week to see if you can find someone you feel comfortable trying this out with. You know, maybe it's a stranger at first, or maybe it's your partner or your child or loved one. Maybe it's a grandparent or someone you just feel really connected with and comfortable with, and see if you can do a twenty-second smile hug.
So thanks again for joining me today, and I look forward to seeing you again tomorrow for our next session on day six of appreciation.
More from Sean Fargo
Make one of your own
This practice was written and narrated with Mindfulness Exercises Pro. Yours takes a few minutes to make.
$0 today · cancel anytime · your work stays yours
Or describe one in the composer — the trial composes it
Just here to listen? You can ask for a practice made for what you’re carrying — a hard week, a racing mind, a night you can’t sleep — and hear it back.
Tell us what you need →Free · no account