A shared practice
Appreciating Difficulties
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Created bySean Fargo
Part 4 of Sean's partner-appreciation series — recorded in his own voice.
In Sean Fargo’s own voice6 min
Read along — the full script
Welcome back. This is day four of our series on appreciation. I'm Sean Fargo. Sometimes it's really hard to find appreciation for others when they're going through a tough time and maybe aren't acting the way they normally do.
Perhaps they're stressed and preoccupied with things that they're anxious about or stressed about, and maybe they tend to stop listening to you, or maybe they are more forgetful. Maybe they're snippy and react to things a bit more harsh than we're used to. So what to do?
How to appreciate that? It can be very difficult, of course, to be with someone, whether they're your partner or loved one, on a regular basis when they're not in a great mood. So instead of criticizing what they should be doing differently, see if you can broaden your perspective.
Shift your perspective a little bit outwards and get a sense for what they might be going through. Maybe you can relate in some way to what it's like to be stressed or anxious or depressed about something that seems very important to you. Maybe you weren't yourself in a time like that.
You let something get the best of you. It all happens to, to everybody. See if you can put yourself in their shoes for a few minutes and imagine what it might be like to feel stressed about something or anxious about something very important or about something that seems very important.
And it can be very helpful to remember that in that instance of suffering, of stress, that there's an underlying wish for things to be okay. There's an underlying wish in everyone for a sense of safety and a sense of health. Maybe it's mental health or physical health.
There's an underlying sense of a, a wish for happiness and an underlying sense of a, a wish for ease. And as you get in touch with those feelings and assume that they have those underlying feelings as well, we can wish that for them. We can wish them happiness and ease and safety and appreciate that what they're going through is not easy for them in this moment.
We can appreciate that they're doing the best that they can with the resources that they have. So see if you can bring this appreciation to those tough times with your partner or loved one. Thank you for joining me on this day four of appreciation, and I look forward to seeing you again tomorrow.
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